Movies and television make shower sex look so sexy and oh-so appealing, but it can be surprising how different the reality is. It’s often not as effortless as you would expect it to be, with having to maintain balance in precarious positions, struggling to reach body parts in the right spots, and a lack of running hot water adding a chill that isn’t so desirable.

Does this mean we should throw in the towel on shower sex? I don’t think so. There’s something so sensual about hot water and steam, as well as seeing your sexy partner naked and wet in the shower. The shower can also be the only place you get uninterrupted private time if you have children, roommates, or other family members in the house. What we really need is a way to make shower sex more accessible.

We are going to discuss some dos, don’ts, and the best sex positions to help shower sex become the fun, erotica adventure it should be. We will discuss what you want to incorporate, what you want to leave out, and we might even change some minds about how amazing shower sex is “supposed to” work. Let’s talk about shower sex, so buckle up!


Take a moment to review this list of dos and don’ts designed to help facilitate a satisfying shower sex experience. There are things you need to consider to create the best, most sexiest, and most comfortable shower sex experience.

What to do

Here are three things you should do before taking a steamy shower.

Don’t limit yourself to P-in-V thinking

Let go of the notion that sex must involve penetrating a vagina (or butt) with a penis: that’s a common suggestion in sex education. While there are so many ways to access our bodies’ orgasmic potential, we often treat it as if it’s P-in-V intercourse or bust, which does us all a disservice. Getting a bit more open-minded about shower sex increases your chances of having satisfying shower sex exponentially.

Before you get sexy, think about safety

Wall mounted soap dishes and shower curtain rods are not designed to bear weight (they often fall down almost immediately), sliding glass shower doors won’t stand up to lean on, and even grab bars designed for accessibility should be tested before incorporating them into sexy time. Before anyone gets turned on, make sure you can grab, lean, or perch safely.

Aside from that, the shower floor can be extremely slippery, so those rubbery shower mats that keep people from slipping during showers can be quite handy if you don’t want to slip while you’re getting dressed. In addition, keep an open mind for Kama Sutra positions such as kneeling or sitting, as those steamy shower sex positions can be far more stable.

Make sure the shower is clean before you get dirty

Hot take: mildew isn’t sexy, nor are soap scum, old hair, rusted razors, or funky soap slivers that seem to have come with the house. Basically, make sure your bathroom and shower are clean and smell pleasant so you can set the mood for a sexy time.

The don’ts

You definitely want to avoid these three shower sex faux pas.

Lube is important, don’t forget it

Everybody likes lube, and shower sex is no exception. There are, however, a few ways people get tripped up here. Some folks believe that since lube is meant to wet things, and showers are already wet, that you do not need lube. Water is not lube. In addition to not being able to reduce friction reliably and consistently, it simply does not have the same ability to make penetration more comfortable.

Furthermore, water-based lubricants are awesome, but they are also, well, water-based. Because they will rinse off in the shower very easily, you won’t reap the benefits of lubricating at all, but you’ll also waste lubricant. That’s why silicone lubricants are a much better choice for showers. You don’t have to rinse them off with water (you would have to use soap) and they last for a long time.

Finally, please remember that soap, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and other shower staples are not meant to be used as lubricants. They are not meant to be injected into the body.

Don’t: Try standing for the first time

Trying shower sex for the first time? I would suggest practising your standing moves on dry land first, to work out weight distribution, balance and rhythm before adding the tricky combination of water and slipperiness. This will help make your attempt that much easier when you move into shower territory.

You don’t need to finish in the shower

After a while, shower sex can get cold, pruny, and, frankly, tiresome. As that unpleasantness continues, you might feel pressured to finish it off with a bang. Let me tell you that you can, and probably should, get out and enjoy your carnal adventures somewhere a bit more comfortable. You should also let go of the idea that sex has to end with an orgasm. Orgasms are great, but as long as everyone feels satisfied and ready to relax, that’s fine.


Try these five steamy shower sex positions outside the shower first before attempting any that require standing or resting a foot elsewhere.

Dog in a standing position

As we mentioned, standing poses seem to be a shower sex staple and that’s understandable. Because of that, standing doggy style is one of the easiest standing positions and it gives everyone the option to brace themselves for stability. Standing doggy style does not require a lot of strength or dexterity.

The receiving partner stands in front of the penetrating partner, facing away from them. From there, the receiving partner bends over as their partner penetrates them from behind. During the receiving partner’s maneuver, they can brace themselves against the wall, the edge of the tub, or even the floor, while the penetrating partner can brace themselves against the wall beside them. When thrusting, be careful not to go too hard, as too much force can knock the receiving partner off balance.

Pretzel standing

This is a great option if you want to experience the excitement of those standing positions where the living partner lifts the other off the ground while keeping it safe and easier!

How to do it: The penetrating partner stands with their feet a bit wider than hip-width apart and their knees slightly bent. The receiving partner wraps one leg around the partner’s waist. The penetrating partner can lend a hand by holding onto the receiver’s thigh from underneath.

Oral sex while standing

One partner is standing in this position, which makes things much safer.

The receiving partner stands with their legs fairly wide apart while their giving partner kneels in front of them for cunnilingus. For easier access, the receiving partner might want to put one foot up on the edge of the tub.

The cowpoke

The time has come to look at some positions that involve sitting completely and this is the perfect position in terms of safety and satisfaction.

The penetrating partner lays on the shower floor while the receiving partner straddles them in a comfortable position that allows penetration. Setting it up this way will allow both of you to enjoy the warm water without getting hit in the face. The receiving partner can lean back and treat their giving partner to a Flashdance-style show while their back is toward the shower head.

Cowpoke in reverse

With this position, you can put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. It has all the safety benefits of Cowpoke, but adds easy anal penetration and G-spot stimulation.

In this method, the penetrating partner sits on the floor of the shower and the receiving partner straddles them with their back to their partner in a position that allows vaginal or anal penetration.

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